I am a Daughter

We go to Mexico every Fall Break and have for several years.  It is AWESOME!  We love the condo we rent at Sonoran Sea.  We love the mangos and surf, the friends and shared meals.  It is so fun.   We couldn't ever imagine a Fall Break without Mexico.  Until last year.  

The condo we stay in needs to be booked pretty quickly after we leave for the next year but when we checked out last year I go a NO GO feeling.   We went home and didn't book it.   Don't go...  A few months later some friends started reminding us to book it and we didn't.  Don't go...  I felt strongly that we shouldn't go.  A few months after that the families we usually go with began to put the pressure on and we began to feel pangs of remorse for not planning to go.  And still I felt we shouldn't go.  Such a strange sensation to want to do something and feel like you shouldn't but not understand why...

Finally James and I decided that if we weren't going to Mexico, maybe we could go to General conference.  That felt right.  We moved ahead with our plan.  As we moved ahead, we realized Tyler, my nephew, was going in the MTC the week we would be there.  So we would be there and so would my sister and her family who live in Tennessee.  My whole family would be in the same place at the same time.  That NEVER happens.  I talked to my dad about having a family reunion.  He agreed and we booked the Hobble Creek Lodge for the weekend.  Ironically enough, we ended up NOT going to Conference but enjoying a beautiful weekend together as a family.  We watched conference, paddled around in the canoe on the pond, took family pictures, cooked, played Scum, made a gratitude wall, had a talent show, and made memories.  

At the end of the weekend, Bumpa (my dad) let everyone know that he is ill with prostate cancer and that he will be having surgery in November.  It was so beautiful to have had that time together.  All of us.  At that moment it all made sense...  No Go.  We needed to be somewhere else and God knew that way before we did.  I was so grateful for the promptings and for the experience we were able to have as a family together.

When we left Utah, I hugged my dad and emotion filled up in me.  Gratitude for having such a wonderful man as my father and worry for his health.  I couldn't help the tears that began to fall.  It all just came gushing out.  And true to form, my dad had something ready to say.   He said, "Remember how I told you I read your blog? - I noticed that your title says, 'My name is Tricia.  I am a wife, a mother, a dancer, a writer, a photographer and a believer in Christ.'  You left something out.  Daughter.  You were my daughter first - before you were any of those other things.  Will you do me a favor when you get home and fix your blog so it includes daughter?"    

Yah... that didn't help me stop crying....  But true to my word I am changing it to include the word daughter because that was the first thing I was.  And maybe all the other things I am are because of it.  I guess I do owe who I am today to being a daughter.  I am the daughter of AMAZING parents.  I am sure not everything was perfect in my childhood home but the overall feeling I get when I reflect on the job my parents did is Goodness.  My life has been good and I have been able to grow and stretch and become who I am because of the home they gave me.  There is a lot of them in me. 

I used to think I was just like my mom - artistic, creative and energetic.  But the older I get, the more I recognize my dads characteristics in myself.  Resourcefulness, persistence, and science minded.  If I could go back to college again, I think I would study the physical sciences - physics, geology, astronomy.   There is a lot of my dad in me because I am his.  I am also a daughter of God.  There is something of Him in me because I am His as well.  I don't always notice it but the older I get, the more I notice that there are parts of me that I can't explain - and my hope is that I not only become like my earthly father but my Father in Heaven as well. 

So who am I?

'My name is Tricia.  I am a daughter, a wife, a mother, a dancer, a writer, a photographer and a believer in Christ.'  

Such a long time ago... I almost forgot but the first thing I ever was, was a daughter.  Thanks Dad.