Hailey is in the MTC - she left a week ago. 3 weeks in the MTC and she will be off to the Virginia, Richmond mission for a year and 1/2. It should get easier to say goodbye to your children but it is getting harder. Hailey left for college without a second glance backward. She was ready and excited and full of forward momentum. Then school ended and she came home for about 2 months before going on her mission. The first month home was business as usual - things were the same as they had always been but as her call came and her departure date approached, our time together became greater and longer and more frequent. The last 2 weeks, our time together doubled again and the last week we were practically inseperable. The store, the aquarium, the Minute Clinic to wimp out on getting shots, the doctor to get medical records, the store, the store, the store... Then chatting and packing and packing and folding and sorting endless piles of clothes (I think she may need to be in clothing rehab for her clothing addiction). The time spent together was precious and cemented her in my heart - there was the rub...
Had she gone right from college, it would not have been nearly so hard a separation. It was the time. So much time. Precious time. Could that be the key? Did it really take me 19 years to figure this out? Or did it take 19 years for her to finally want to be with me. Or a mixture of both?
Either way, it did it's magic and she became so dear to me. More so in 2 weeks than in the 2 previous years. Then came the moment for her to leave and the separation was more intense than I could have imagined. I sure love that girl and admire her courage.
The airport was hard but we were all stoic. And off went that little girl of mine. Looking smaller and younger than I had remembered. But so brave. So determined and so strong. I could imagine her at any moment saying, "This is too much mom. This is too hard. I'm going to stay here." But she didn't - she trudged on to the unknown and my heart felt broken.
I'm not one to wallow in sadness so I left the next day for California and spent the next 2 days on the beach... It helped. I'm not going to lie. I felt better and the family and I returned home and picked up where we had left off. Monday, Tuesday... then Wednesday and I got an email from Hailey.
Wow - what power. What strength and testimony. I cried as I read it. The tears were afraid to fall at the airport but not in my playroom at home. I felt so comforted and so much joy as I read her letter. She put into words who she really is and it gave me so much peace and comfort.
How did I get such a great kid and how did I not notice this spiritual powerhouse developing right before my eyes? Oh to be 19 again and in the MTC and having such an experience. I am so excited for her and her future.
Rock on Hailey. I hope you know how dear you are to me.
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