#WhyIStay

I read an article about a guy who is a member of the church that addresses why he stays in the church amid the tongue wagging that is going on in the media by others who have left.  It made me ask myself the same question.  Here is my answer:  I make covenants and I keep them.  Each covenant I have made has been thought about and I have felt God's love assuring me that the covenant will help me be closer to him.  Covenants made are easy to keep when things are easy - they make sense then - you can easily understand why they are important.  It's when things get hard that covenants don't make sense and are hard to keep.  It's just like when I decide that sugar isn't good for me and I shouldn't eat it because it is making me unhealthy, fat and destroying my thyroid - that choice is easy.  When I am tired and stressed at 3:00 and all of my kids are flooding in with problems and chaos -  it is then that I want the sugar.  And I want it now.  I want it desperately.  I need it.  It calms me - makes me feel better.  But, all the problems it causes are still there - just to be dealt with later.   Breaking covenants is like procrastination.  It's going to be hard.  Now or later.  And the longer I put it off, the harder it gets.  Covenants keep me safe.  Covenants are the voice of reason when I am pulled so strongly in a direction that my reasonable self doesn't really want to go.  I stay because keeping my covenants keeps me moving the direction that I know I want to go.

I covenant to choose the right.   - it makes me strong
I covenant to be faithful to my husband.  - it makes me loyal
I covenant to always attend church.  - it makes me faithful
I covenant to teach my children every moment I can.  - it makes me useful
I covenant to give what I have to others.  - it makes me selfless
I covenant to go to the temple.  - it makes me devoted
I covenant to serve others.  - it makes me happy
I covenant to take care of my body.  - it makes me healthy
I covenant to speak kindly.  - it makes me gentle

I choose to try really hard.  That doesn't mean I am perfect and don't fail - because heaven knows I do.  But it means that when I fail, I know Christ is there waiting to pick me up and wipe me off and let me start again as soon as I am ready to ask for the help.  It means that when I fail, I am going to go right back to my covenants and try again.  Because that is what the part of me that is trying to be godly knows is best.  Make covenants and stick to them.  They are safety.  They are peace.  Maybe not in the moment but ultimately and eternally,  covenants are where I find God.